Out of my world

This post has been a while in coming... and as husband has current ownership of the TV (Mighty Boosh on DVD, like it, don't love it) I thought I should get around to posting. A conversation a couple of weeks ago reminded me that some things that regular features in other's lives, just are out of my range of personal 'normality'.

Some of them are trivial, some I'd take more seriously, but all are out of my range of comprehension..... they would never stop me being friends with someone... and frankly they're none of my business... but they still make me go.... huh?

1) Drinking

I'm not a tee-totaller, and I've had a few times in my life where I've drunk too much, although I don't drink at the moment as it doesn't agree with me. Husband will have a glass of wine or a bottle of beer most evenings. That's fine. It's not going to do him any harm and it is part of the 'little pleasures' of life. I'm completely happy with the government's guidelines of a maximum 3-4 units a day for a man and 2-3 units a day for a woman. They are sensible, they don't force abstinence, and I'm sure you can play with a little and still be fine. But I regularly come across friends or acquaintances who just don't play this game by the rules. They have a bottle of wine most nights, or regular get clattered on a Friday and Saturday -downing their weekly units in one or two sittings. That is long term liver damage just waiting to happen..... not pretty.... but just not on some people's radar.

2) Smoking

Why do people still smoke? It's madness I tell you.... madness! I can cope with this in friends, but it would be make or break for a partner.

3) Reading gossip mags

Yes they can be funny, and I will flick through one at the doctors or left by a fellow passenger on a train. But to buy them? Every week? And actually pay attention to what 'celebrities' are up to? Nope, just don't get it....

4) Money

Increasingly I come across couples - either in long-term, living together relationships, married or not - who do not have joint finances i.e. they each pay 50% of the household bills (despite any difference in earnings), don't have a joint account (or do but just for bills, which they both pay into), pay separately for things like holidays, big purchases etc. I, personally, couldn't handle this. My idea of marriage/commitment does not involve such a significant form of separation. My husband and I do have separate credit cards - to allow us to buy birthday and Christmas gifts for each other without the recipient seeing the details. I'm sure this is more common than ever before but it worries me for two major reasons. Firstly, to me a big part of marriage is about coming together as a new family unit, a new person in fact. Separating out your finances this way just looks like its going to act as a wedge (or a least not a help) in keeping that relationship going. Secondly, trust (and associated honesty) is also a big deal for me in marriage. If you have separate finances because your other half is an erratic spender, then again, I think you're going to have bigger problems in your relationship in the longer term......

5) Bathrooms

Ditto for having separate bathrooms. Nice luxury... but essential/make or break for a successful marriage?... no....

As I said at the start, none of these things would stop me being friends with someone, caring for someone, but they are things 'out of my world'.... and always makes me do the puzzled head tilt...